September 10, 2017

As I was unloading my midweek shopping cart (including six bottles of wine) at Safeway in Alamo the sweetest checkout lady in the wholewideworld uttered the nicest four words I’ve heard in long time…. No… not “Nice buns, whatcha cooking?!” BUT close! Holler! She asked “Are you over 21?” [BLUSHING!!!! OMG!] I smiled and certainly hoped she said it loud enough for the other customers and checkers to hear! I mean don’t let that ear candy go to waste, darling! I was thinking maybe next time she could get on that CB radio intercom thingy and just blast that out to the whole store, right!? “Uh, hello Alamo Safeway Shoppers… [static]… we have a hot sugar daddy on Aisle 7 that looks all of 19 trying to buy champagne! [static] Over!”

Unable to contain my glee, I simply replied ….”Oh, that’s so sweet!!” as I put my Centrum Silver 50+ Mens Daily Formula vitamins, a pair of tortoise shell reading glasses and a pack of tampons (“Remember to get the SPORT PACK, DAD!!!”) on the belt. As she looked at the items her smile quickly turned to a frown and realized I was definitely “of age”. “Yeah, I guess you are”, she demurred. Damn right, checkout lady! 51 is the new 21!!