The Joy of Making Lunches (or NOT)

lunch box

Pulling into the driveway at 7:21am after driving Maisie to high school, I noticed Marley walking to the bus stop with an unusually sad expression on her soon-to-be-13-year-old face. Rolling down the window I asked, “Are you okay, pumpkin?“. (I can still get away with calling her “pumpkin” whereas if I said that to soon-to-be-15 year old Maisie she would shoot friggin’ laser daggers out of her eyes at me.)

“Dad, did you forget to pack a lunch for me?“, asked Marley innocently.

OMG. Pangs of what-the-hell-kinda-parent-have-I-become guilt rushed over me! So, thinking quickly, I opened the glove box of my lit-n-dope Dadmobile (aka: “the minivan”) and pulled out an unopened can of warm Coke, three cinnamon Altoids, a couple dusty Tic-Tacs, and two children’s Advil tablets (grape flavored, #almostasgoodasfruit) and said, “Um, gosh, no! Wait! I’ve got your lunch right here!”

“OMG! That’s okay Dad! I can just buy pizza today in the cafeteria!”, she said and smiled as I handed her $20 hoping she would quickly forgive me.

I felt really bad partially because I just gave away my what-if-we-get-caught-in-a-snowstorm-and-have-to-subsist-on-broken-Goldfish-crackers-and-gummy-bears-from-under-the-car-seats Emergency food provisions. But, also because after 28 weeks of school I finally have my lunch making, car pooling, and after school schedules running like a German train station! So the sad unmade lunch reminded me that I’m still human and not a $%&@! lunch making robot!! (Do the make a Roomba for making lunches AND vacuuming the house yet?)

It also reminded me that school is almost over and I won’t have to make lunches in the morning for the ENTIRE summer! Woo-woo!!! [Insert picture of me here jumping and dancing in my kitchen wearing nothing but tiny underwear and a cowboy hat. Oh, wait… forget about the tiny underwear part!]

And, yes, yes… I know, I know… the kids SHOULD BE MAKING THEIR OWN LUNCHES in the morning at almost 13 and 14 years old. But, as a Dad who likes to run a CLEAN kitchen, I would prefer not to wipe up mustard, peanut butter, and -god help me- pickle juice from the counters all morning. So, I just do it myself and let them feed the dogs! WAIT!! … did we feed the dogs this morning!?! NO!?!? Okay, then they can eat the Altoids and Tic-Tacs!

Summer can’t come too fast, people!!

One comment

  1. Dear SAHD….aka Best Dad, Keep thinking I am going to write a long email to you and Emily. Have not forgotten all of you and would like to come see you if you come to Kiawah this summer. We have construction projects through mid June and then I am not sure of our plans. Getting closer to retirement. Let me know if you are coming east and if a short visit would work out for you.

    Hugs to all, Barbara

    Sent from my iPhone



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