SAHDs Gone Wild


As a Stay-At-Home-Dad (SAHD) I have developed a sense of swagger about my morning routine.    Getting four kids ready for school, making lunches, feeding animals (horses, dogs, cats, chickens), and starting my white load (ie: SAHD talk for “laundry”) is a “pretty dope trick”.     (Confession:  I don’t really know what “dope” means but it’s totally something my 15 year old daughter would say to convey pure awesomeness!!!) .

And, yes, I know that it’s oxymoronic to connote “being dope” with a phrase that includes laundry, but that’s how a SAHD rolls, yo!     (Again, blatant misappropriation of teen slang!).

One of the things I spend a lot of time doing in the morning is wiping things.   Countertops, dishes, floors, muddy dog feet.  The youngest of my four kids is in kindergarten, so thankfully I have now crossed “butts” off the “wiping” list.   But, alas, dried dog pee on the floor that magically only I can see remains on the list (with some mild-to-strong simmering frustration).  Speaking of kindergarteners, PB&J is definitely still on the wiping list.   Specially the J-part (And, “J” means “jam” for all you hipster millennials that don’t yet have 6 year olds touching your new leather couch with sticky strawberry jam hands.)

And, yes, of course, I try to use different wiping cloths for each mess.  You literally can not spit in my house without hitting a container of Clorox wipes.   (And, yes, I use wipes to clean that up!).   But, my go-to wipe of choice is the trusty old dishrag which honestly spends half its time in Lavender scented dish soap anyway.

This morning Emily was doing some light wiping of her own before driving into the office.  So, I was kinda surprised-bordering-on-offended when she texted me saying….

“That dish rag that I used to wipe up the little table I think it’s pretty rotten because I can still smell it on my hands.  :-)” .

Okay, first of all, Emily has a Bionic Woman sense of smell which allows her to locate a pair of the kid’s lost Van’s anywhere within a 3-miles radius.  So, sniffing out the dish rag is really not all that impressive.   Second of all, “pretty rotten” is a gross exaggeration despite the fact that I probably did let my humble dish rag ferment one day too long!    Good news kids, I started your science project for you!

And thirdly, maybe I’m actually starting a side hustle by ambitiously developing a new line of fragrances with SAHD’s as my target market!?   Right?!    Exactly.

The line is called “SAHDs Gone Wild!”… and the working titles of the fragrances are ….”Musty Man Mulch”…    “Sour Milk Surprise”…    “Take Out The Garbage”….    and, yes, my most recent addition….    “Old Dish Rag!”

Perfect for the Holiday giving season!   Give the SAHD Man in your life a gift box of the smelly scents he secretly craves!     SAHDs Gone Wild!    Now on sale!!


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